I Am the Space Between My Thoughts
The truth can be found in the space between each thought.
Consider your mind being full of anxious thinking. Your body is in a state of alarm and your nervous system is activated into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. On the surface, you appear calm, but on the inside, you are unraveling at the seams. Your mind races from one thought to the next, with little to no room in between. Dis-ease pollutes between the ears and continues to sound the fire alarm from the neck down. Cognitive distortions consume your reality and create a story so convincing and so conniving that your body begins to register it as the truth.
“What if I express myself authentically and I am ridiculed?”
“I should be feeling excited to see my family but I’m not.”
“Nobody is going to sign up for my course I am launching, I just know it.”
“I feel resentful toward my partner, that must mean I don’t love them.”
“My partner hasn’t come back from the store in a while, what if he got in a car accident and died?”
“If it’s not a full body yes, then it’s a full body no.”
“I feel like everyone is making fun of me because they were laughing when I walked into the room.”
“I am a failure and worthless.”
Whoa.
Let’s pause for a moment and…
Thoughts are just thoughts, and amidst the monkey mind, which is a Buddhist concept where one’s mind is restless and chaotic, we tend to naturally get caught in the web of these thoughts like a fly in a spider’s. One thought after another after another, with what feels like little to no room to breathe.
Many times when we get tangled in the web, these thoughts play over and over again like a never-ending record player. But even with a record player, when one song ends and before the next one begins, there is a moment of silence. A space between each melody. And just like the monkey mind, there is a space between each thought. A small space admits the anxious mind, but nevertheless, expansion. A gap that often goes unnoticed. An occupancy of divine power. An interval that separates one thought from the other, but we are so quick to surpass that moment in between that we find ourselves spiraling, unconsciously turning what was once a thought into an entire physiological response accompanied by intense emotion and oftentimes, impulsive reactions.
It’s not about “emptying our mind” or “not thinking about it.” In fact, these two pieces of advice can be anything but helpful when one is caught in turbulence. Resisting the anxious mind can in fact reinforce the story. Have you ever heard the term, “What you resist, persists,” ?
What we can do, however, to “break the chains” of the monkey mind is to not only notice the thoughts that the mind creates, but activate the observer within and notice the space between the thoughts.
This space of I Am.
What is I Am?
I Am means I exist, I am present. Similarly, we find this same presence of I Am in that stillness between each passing thought of the mind. This space where our wholeness is alive, where we simply just are, as we are. This clearing is an access point, an opportunity to truly observe your internal and external reality. It is a bridge of eternal existence and connection to the Highest Architect. It is a choice point to respond rather than react. It is a chance to be with what is, just how it is, no matter how comfortable or uncomfortable it appears. This is where we are able to step out of the thinking mind and step into the observing mind. We disconnect from our acting role on the big screen, and instead we become the one who sits in the movie theater shoveling popcorn into our gullet, watching the film with child-like curiosity.
For it is this clearing that the truth is revealed. The truth of what is, a moment to lean into acceptance, and a place to simply just “be” just as you are.
The space between the thoughts is where one has the opportunity to be with what is rather than think about what could be.
The next time you notice the monkey mind taking your focus away from this moment, may you recognize your thoughts, acknowledge their presence without judgement, and become aware of that little, tiny space between. This space of I Am, that I Am. Overtime and with practice, this space will become wider, and even easier to access. But don’t hold your breath. The thinking mind loves to take the stage. Even when the mind begins chattering with unhelpful thoughts once again, (because it just may and that’s completely normal and okay), bring forth the observer and not only watch your mind like a person watching a movie on the big screen, but embrace the space between— the only thing that’s real.
